What we learn about the world from sitcoms = from Mikal on 2003-05-11 (OSO Yahoo! Group Messages)

From: Mikal <mikalm_at_ix.netcom.com_at_hypermail.org>
Date: Sun, 11 May 2003 10:51:38 -0700

>
> = What we learn about the world from sitcoms =
>
> 1: When people go to the other side of the room and turn their backs,
> you can no longer hear what they are saying.
>
> 2: When anybody states anything in a firm voice, that statement will
> immediately be disproved in an ironic way by somebody who happens to
> walk in at that exact moment.
>
> 3: When somebody's cousin visits from out of town, it is a sure bet
> that she is gorgeous and interesting.
>
> 4: When two lovers or friends have a spat, they will part for half an
> hour, and come back and both will completely have reversed their
> positions, and their relationship will be stronger than ever.
>
> 5: In a sitcom, if a loved one asks for your honest opinion about
> something even vaguely personal or controversial, you have to lie,
> even though manifold and painful experience have taught you that this
> will become a huge and complex drama and you'll have to tell the
> truth in the end anyway.
>
> 6: If a friend discovers that you have a physical abnormality, not
> only will everybody soon know about it and talk about it, but it will
> be of colossal importance to all of them.
>
> 7: If you have something that others would be interested in knowing
> about, it is important that you want to keep it secret for as long as
> possible, so everybody can have a nice, long, complex game of Keeping
> Secrets and Inventing Lies.
>
> 8: It is vitally important that you be totally incapable of hearing
> any mention of your parents' sex life without going into fits of
> discomfort and embarrassment.
>
> 9: Anybody you know getting involved with a sibling of yours is a Big
> Deal. It is not important if it is positive or negative, or even both
> within a minute: but it is Very, Very Big Deal, and you have to blow
> your top.
>
> 10: When a loved one or a person you're dating says something that
> freaks you out, but you can't show it, that is OK, because that
> person will at that moment remember something (s)he has to do now,
> leaving you to discuss it with your friends.
>
> 11: Seeing somebody in a swimsuit is just like seeing a person. But
> seeing somebody naked is the most revolting thing that can happen to
> you.
>
> 12: If you get pregnant out of wedlock, your parents will be
> humiliated beyond belief and will be telling everybody that you are
> married, or that you are in a mental institution.
>
> 13: If you have an important interview, you will do much better than
> anybody expected, right until the point where it is officially over,
> when you will let down your guard and say something incredibly stupid.
>
Received on 2003-05-11 10:50:34