Ozzy told me to post this. It came from a "friend".
I had nothing to do with their creation. Whatsoever.
------------
> >SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I
>
> >
>
> >(You have been warned!)
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>
> >
>
> >Juan on Juan.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What is a Yankee?
>
> >
>
> >The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What is the difference between a Harley and a
> Hoover?
>
> >
>
> >The position of the dirt bag.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Why is divorce so expensive?
>
> >
>
> >Because it's worth it.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's
> mouth?
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >One US leader.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends
> over?
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Doughnuts.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Why is air a lot like sex?
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting
> any.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Because Janet Reno is her real father.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50
> politicians in a room
> together?
>
> >
>
> >100 people who don't do dick.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II
>
> >(JUST WARMING UP!)
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >(You have been warned again!)
>
> >
>
> >What do you call a smart blonde?
>
> >
>
> >A golden retriever.
>
> >
>
> >What do attorneys use for birth control?
>
> >
>
> >Their personalities.
>
> >
>
> >What's the difference between a girlfriend and
> wife?
>
> >
>
> >45 lbs.
>
> >
>
> >What's the difference between a boyfriend and
> husband?
>
> >
>
> >45 minutes.
>
> >
>
> >What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>
> >
>
> >Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>
> >
>
> >Why do men want to marry virgins?
>
> >
>
> >They can't stand criticism.
>
> >
>
> >Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
> sensitive, caring, and
> good-looking?
>
> >
>
> >Because those men already have boyfriends.
>
> >
>
> >What's the difference between a new husband and a
> new dog?
>
> >
>
> >After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What makes men chase women they have no intention
> of marrying?
>
> >
>
> >The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have
> no intention of
> driving.
>
> >
>
> >A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in
> third grade. Who has the
> biggest boobs?
>
> >
>
> >The blonde, because she's 18.
>
> >
>
> >Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>
> >
>
> >Because they have cotton balls.
>
> >
>
> >What's the difference between a porcupine and a
> BMW?
>
> >
>
> >A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
>
> >
>
> >What did the blonde say when she found out she was
> pregnant?
>
> >
>
> >Are you sure it's mine?"
>
> >
>
> >What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer
> Nuts?
>
> >
>
> >Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a
> buck.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>
> >
>
> >Mace will do that to you.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>
> >
>
> >Breasts don't have eyes.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>
> >
>
> >He walks around saying "Yo."
>
> >
>
> >Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck
> schools use the car only
> on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>
> >
>
> >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class
> uses it.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >(Just Great Stuff)
>
> >
>
> >What's the Cuban National Anthem?
>
> >
>
> >"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
>
> >
>
> >Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>
> >
>
> >A different bar.
>
> >
>
> >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
> shorter than the
> other?
>
> >
>
> >A speech impediment.
>
> >
>
> >What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office
> is flying at
> half-mast?
>
> >
>
> >They're hiring.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What's the difference between a southern zoo and a
> northern zoo?
>
> >
>
> >A southern zoo has a description of the animal on
> the front of the cage
> along with... "a recipe".
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to
> say the F... word?
>
> >
>
> >Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
> *BINGO*!
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >What's the difference between a northern fairytale
> and a
>
> >southern fairytale?
>
> >
>
> >A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A
> southern fairytale
> begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
>
> >
Received on 2004-06-02 22:01:09
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.3.0
: 2020-02-04 07:16:19 UTC