Diary of a Piggyback Prankster

From: tschibasch <tschibasch_at_yahoo.com_at_hypermail.org>
Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 23:22:16 -0000

I have been named a "piggyback prankster" by someone at my work. I
like it. This is not the first time that I have played a harmless
prank while on the job. Nor is it the first time that other people
found out about it and shared in the amusement. However, it is the
first time that I have received an honorific title. Here is the story...

There are two guys, Sean and Paul, who are trying to get their weight
down. I will not use their last names. Several weeks ago, they decided
to make a weight loss bet. One of them brought in a scale and they
both weighed themselves. They watched each other getting weighed and
wrote the numbers on a whiteboard. There was an agreement that they
would weigh themselves on the same day every month and see who is
losing the most weight. Fair enough.

Just two days later, the entire office had a huge celebration with a
large cake. This happens a lot at my current job. Both Sean and Paul
attended the cake-cutting and watched each other take small pieces.
You could see how they would have liked more, but neither was going to
have any unless the other did. The leftover cake, which was
substantial, was put in the fridge.

Later that afternoon, Sean came by Paul's office and told him that
someone had been looking for him in the conference room. I heard this
quite by chance as my office is next door to Paul's. I thought nothing
of it. I saw both Sean and Paul walk away down the hall going separate
ways. Sean quickly returned later. Some minutes still after that, Paul
returned muttering that the conference room had been empty. To his
shock, Paul found a large plate of cake waiting for him at his desk.
"That bastard!" Paul yelled, in shock and humor. He then peeked into
my office and asked "Did you see what Sean did? He deliberately got me
out of my office so he could plant a piece of cake here! Did you see?"
I told Paul, truthfully, that I had hardly noticed. A little later I
got up for some coffee and saw Paul. "What happened to the piece of
cake?" I asked him. Paul shook his head in disappointment. "I ate it.
I couldn't help it – it was so good!"

The next morning I arrived at my desk and happened to notice that Paul
had not yet arrived. I decided that maybe he needed another piece of
cake. After all, it would start the morning off well. So I cut a nice
big piece of cake, put it on a plate, and planted it on Paul's desk.
He came in about 10 minutes later. I instantly heard a loud "Arghh!"
and I ran over to see what was wrong. Paul looked up, exclaiming "That
bastard has done it again! Did you see Sean come by my office this
morning?" I paused for a moment before answering. "No, I did not see
Sean. But I only got in a few minutes ago myself. And you know, once I
am immersed in my work, anybody could come by, and..." During this
time, Paul was staring at the cake. It seemed to be calling to him. He
then said, either to the cake or to me "I hate to see this go to
waste." I left Paul and the cake alone in his office.

Lunchtime was another opportunity to put a piece of cake on Paul's
desk. I figured that wherever he had gone for lunch, it was likely
that he had not ordered dessert. So this cake would not hurt! And it
would be a good way to begin the afternoon. I then left for lunch
myself. When I returned, I saw Paul sitting at his desk. He looked a
little bothered. The cake was nowhere to be seen.

The next morning, Paul got in much earlier than I did. It might have
just been due to differing traffic patterns. Or, it might have been to
not having a lock on his office door. But my fortunes were still
excellent: Shortly after 10 the fire alarm sounded. Not a surprise -
We were warned of an unannounced drill earlier in the month. We all
had to leave our desks and descend by the stairwell. In this
semi-orderly confusion I managed to visit the kitchen and get a big
piece of cake on a plate for Paul. It would be waiting on his desk
after the fire drill was over. Just the thing to celebrate a
successful fire drill, if you ask me!

I leisurely returned to my desk after the drill was over. Paul's
office was empty, and the cake was not there. He obviously had gotten
back to his desk already.

At this point, it seemed like a good time to visit Sean. Sitting in
his office, he cheerfully welcomed me in. After some small talk, I
mentioned how impressed I was with his `clever trick' to lure Paul out
of his office and leave some cake behind for him. Our conversation
went something like this:

Sean: "A clever trick? Yeah, I guess so. There again, maybe not so
clever! Paul's crazy - he stopped by earlier today and told me to stop
leaving cake for him."

Me: "Stop doing it? How many times have you done it?"

Sean: "ONCE! Just that one time! But Paul told me that whenever he
leaves his office, there is always a new piece of cake for him when he
returns. That guy's paranoid!"

Me: "Yeah, sounds like it!"

Sean: "Morning, noon, and night he claims to be getting cake at his
desk. Which, I might add, he has always eaten! He can't throw it away!"

Me: "He says that he's been getting cake three times a day? It hasn't
been that often. In fact he's only gotten cake four times. Only once
or twice a day."

Sean: "WHAT? How on Earth do you know that?"

Me: "Well, you see, I put cake on his desk three times. And you did it
once. That makes four. Now unless someone else is also doing it, I
think we can safely assume that he has gotten cake only four times."
 
Sean sat in silence, and looked completely perplexed. He was not
angry, but confused. Why I would do such a thing? I was happy to tell
him! I explained that this was easy, since my office was next door to
Paul's. Also, it was something that I would not get the blame for.
After all, both Paul and Sean knew who the guilty party was in the
beginning! But what Sean thought was a once-only prank, Paul now
thought was continuing forever. I was also blameless in that I had no
interest in tampering with their weight loss bet! As Sean patiently
listened, a big smile crept over his face. It now made total sense to
him. "You know what you are?" he asked. Without waiting for my
response, he answered "You are a piggyback prankster. You play a prank
when you know that someone else will get blamed for it!!"

I agreed with him. We both laughed at my new title. I then impressed
upon Sean that even after confessing to him, I could very well
continue to leave cake on Paul's desk. I mean, why not? So what if
Sean knows the identity of the real culprit? There was another victim
in this: Paul. He was still blaming Sean, and as it turns out, he was
getting less amused with the whole thing each passing day. I assured
Sean that most likely, I would probably stop this prank. The chances
of leaving more cake for Paul were really rather small. And there is
no more leftover cake in the fridge anyway. Or is there?

Sean was not completely satisfied with my reassuring comments,
apparently. The next day he told Paul that I had been the guilty party
leaving cake on Paul's desk. Paul responded with "It was John Turley?
What possible motive would he have? This is ridiculous. Just because
his office is near mine, you want to blame him!" As Sean tried to
explain further, Paul would not let him finish. Paul felt that if Sean
were admitting to the first prank, why would he blame the others on
someone else? Especially someone who had no investment in it! Sean
should come clean and admit to the whole thing!

Sean told me later about this conversation with Paul. It's true – I
was blameless, if only because it didn't make sense. "You're right
what you told me." Sean said. "I am screwed. If you leave more cake
for Paul, I will get the blame." I then told him not to worry, that it
all was over. I never did it again.

This leads to an interesting point. If someone overheard the last
conversation between Sean and me, they could start leaving cake on
Paul's desk. Paul would be all the more upset with Sean. And Sean
would be upset with me. I would of course protest my innocence! But
would Sean believe me? Of course not! He was now aware of my tendency
to play pranks. I would be screwed, and no better off than Sean. I am
glad to report that this didn't happen.


John AKA the piggyback prankster
Received on 2005-08-10 16:22:18