European Security Levels

From: tschibasch <tschibasch_at_yahoo.com_at_hypermail.org>
Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2005 21:09:33 -0000

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and
have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved'. Soon
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz
in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody
Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"
warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by
a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and
excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,
"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful
arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have
two higher levels: "invade a neighbour" and "lose".
Received on 2005-10-20 14:09:35