12-step program for B Movie addicts

From: tschibasch <tschibasch_at_yahoo.com_at_hypermail.org>
Date: Wed, 24 May 2006 22:17:22 -0000

Step 1. We admit that we were powerless over actors in rubber monster
suits and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step 2: We make a vow to avoid The Movie Section at the Dollar Store,
the Free Bin at Blockbuster, or the 14 Movie Packs at Best Buy.

Step 3: We will cancel our Netflix subscription.

Step 4: We will never watch MST3K again.

Step 5: We will no longer do impressions of people or monsters from B
Films.

Step 6: We will no longer read any "bad" movie synopses or reviews online.

Step 7: We carefully re-examine the movies we own in order to
determine whether any have been unfairly categorized as "bad" when
they are actually "good". We will keep only the "good ones".

Step 8: We will no longer look for movie covers with scantly clad
actresses running away from men in Halloween masks.

Step 9: We will no longer look for movies with titles beginning with
"Son of...", "Return of...", or containing words like "zombie",
"vampire", or "mutant".

Step 10: We will avoid any movies with scream queens starring in them.

Step 11: We will no longer stay up late hours to watch a B Film, and
claim that we needed to in order to study for school...on a Friday...

Step 12: We will apologize to all those people we've blown off by
telling them we can't party because we have a cold, when we really
stayed home to watch a B Film.
Received on 2006-05-24 15:19:40