33 Observations on Hawaii

From: Joya Trian <joyat_at_fox.com_at_hypermail.org>
Date: Tue, 24 Sep 2002 10:24:34 -0700

I could have written a whole travel piece about our trip to Hawaii, and maybe will still give it a shot once we have a little time ... we still haven't opened a single gift!

But here are a few things I learned on my trip:

1. Hawaii is obscenely beautiful.

2. Hawaiians hate: tourists, fences, and any pace above a turtle's. A turtle is one of their state symbols.

3. Hawaiians love: putting political/opinion signs, old trucks and happy dogs in their front yards.

4. Outdoor bathtubs are fabulous.

5. So are private waterfall grottoes

6. Ditto on snorkelling.

7. Octopodes (grammar folks?) are camera-shy.

8. Chickens are quite fond of crossing roads.

9. Roosters do not crow just once and then shut up.

10. Mosquito bites look worse on Bob and itch worse on me.

11. Wild guava trees smell like paradise.

12. Passion fruit tastes like paradise.

13. Pineapple juice is really good in champagne. For the record, I invented this as far as I know.

14. Formal Hawaiian names won't fit on federal government forms.

15. They get easier to pronounce once you've been there a while.

16. Most road names start with "K" and continue for at least ten letters.

17. Finding the Hawaiian road name you want on a map is like playing "spot the difference".

18. "Road" is a misnomer in Hawaii.

19. California has potholes. Hawaii has craters.

20. This may be a conspiracy by the tire companies. We popped two.

21. The Hertz rent-a-car drive guide maps are not to scale.

22. Honolulu is the only city. All the rest are towns or villages.

23. Cell phones don't work in most of them.

24. Hawaiians often don't bother with locks on their doors. Or with having doors - a lot of houses are just four poles and a roof.

25. Given the above, a lot of Hawaiians seem really poor. But you get the impression that they don't care so much about houses, given the scenery.

26. Even the city, Honolulu, is trusting enough of its citizens to have burning fire, in the form of tiki torches, right there lining its streets every night.

27. The Professor was right. Anything can be made out of a coconut. Or a coconut leaf.

28. True Hawaiian Hula skirts do not look like the ones sold in the tourist shops. They're not grass. They're a fatter green leaf, and five layers thick.

29. Hula is sexy if it's done right.

30. Young native Hawaiians are really attractive.

31. Hippie Yuppie Mainlander Transplants to Hawaii are the most condescending of Hawaiians.

32. It takes at least a week to get into the pace and flow of island life.

33. No one wants to go home once they've been there.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Received on 2002-09-24 10:24:54