How I spent my summer vacation...and entire bank account!
Well, we did it. We went to Farrell's. And it wasn't a pretty sight.
(Apologies. This is going to be one BIG posting.)
The nearest Farrell's Old-Fashioned Ice Cream Parlour is located at
"Mountasia Family Fun Center" in Santa Clarita. You can't miss it.
In fact, you won't miss much if you do miss it.
That's not entirely true.
There's a great big "waterfall" right out in front. We got there
about 11:15, and they had just opened at 11:00. Good timing, we
thought. The place was really empty – I had expected tons of kids
underfoot, elbow-to-elbow, pushing, shoving, yelling, and so on.
Nope. Empty and lots of possibilities. The 20-foot climbing wall was
right inside the entrance, the bumper boats, batting cages, sculptured
go-cart and mini golf courses were out in back. Not too hot. Not too
crowded. Looks like a nice day.
We asked if the restaurant were open; the workers behind the counter
shrugged, looked at each other, and finally shrugged again, "Um, Yeah.
I guess we're open now!" That should have given us our first clue.
But we didn't leave. Grandma Barbara asked if we needed reservations
and they said no, they didn't think it would be crowded today. It
wasn't. The restaurant was never more than half-full at any time we
were there. We still thought things were looking good, so we stayed.
Adam, Jason, and Ryan took one look at the dark warehouse next to the
parlour, full of blinking video games and ticket-producing "kiddie Las
Vegas" machines, took one running circuit about the place and came
back to us covered with ear-to-ear grins. Just as Bob, Joya, and Sean
walked in. (Actually, Sean didn't do much of the walking at the time.
..) I felt bad. Apparently, the three of them had shown up at 10:30
only to find the place wasn't open. They actually went home to check
the email invitation before coming back to see if we were there yet.
We apologized and started chatting for a bit; but our boys were not to
be denied. We ended up buying a ton of tokens and letting them loose
in the arcade while Bob and Joya got a table at Farrell's. We still
didn't know any better.
Into the arcade! There were games where you shoot tokens into slots
ranked by points (earning you that number of tickets), games where you
try to bop something (for tickets), Skee Ball (giving tickets for
points), drop-the-coin-on-a-flat-surface-and-hope-the-brush-pushes-a-
ton-more-coins-off-the-flat-surface (producing tickets), and more!
There were also games which did not produce tickets. For some odd
reason our kids weren't too interested in those.
Each boy ended up with between 100 – 200 tickets and then redeemed
them at the (crowded) prize counter. Prizes ranged from the cheapest
plastic giveaways you can imagine (1 – 200 tickets) to Beanie Baby
stuffed stuff (300 – 700 tickets), to larger (real) games and prizes
(1000 – 3000 tickets) hanging on the wall FAR out of reach. In many
ways. *rolls eyes*
Over to Farrell's by noon. We were looking forward to a nice backward
lunch of ice cream followed by sandwiches or something more
substantial. (Our family tradition on Ozzy's birthday). We settled in
with Bob and Joya and waited for someone to bring some menus. And
waited. And waited. Ten minutes later I got up and asked if someone
were coming by. Three times. Each time they looked at me in wide-
eyed amazement, "Didn't someone seat you?" Uh, NO! There wasn't
anyone at the front when B&J sat down. "OH! Um, we'll send someone
over right away." Three times.
By the third time I made sure to ask, "Could we please see some menus
while we're waiting for someone?" "Oh! Um, sure. Ok. That's a
great idea!" They look around and finally locate the old-fashioned
newspaper-style menus. (Someone must have been handing out free
refills at the gas station's air pump this week.)
Ok, let's see. A black-and-white, a chip-mint sundae, some rainbow
sherbets, a regular sundae, how about a sandwich or two? Ok, we're
ready. Where's the server we were promised?
An announcement goes out throughout the whole facility. In trots a
group of girls, aged 4 – 8 for their birthday party. They are seated
at the huge table right next to us. The servers in the striped suits
start bringing in their pizzas. We catch someone's eye and FINALLY a
rather perky lass with a high-pitched voice bounces over and takes our
order. "Oh! Ok! You want soup? Um, I forgot to ask what the soup
of the day is. Just a minute!" She whirls off to the kitchen. "It's
chicken soup. Two? Ok. Soup – Yum!"
Fifteen minutes later we get a pitcher or two of ice water. And two
soups for those of us who can't quite handle a backwards lunch. And an
announcement to the whole lunchroom, accompanied by bells and whistles
and sirens, that its Sonia's birthday and everyone please sing along
with the big bass drum.
Half an hour later, the girls at the next table have finished their
pizza and have started their ice cream. Giggles, our waitress, drifts
by – "Is our ice cream ready yet?" "Oh! Um, it should be almost
ready. They're just putting the toppings on!" It takes half an hour
to slurp whipped cream on a scoop of ice cream? The restaurant was
three-quarters empty and it was almost 1:00, for heaven's sake!!!
Out comes the big bass drum again. Giggles announces to the world
that it's Dean's birthday and makes him stand up in the middle of the
place. He agrees on the condition that he gets to play the drum. For
some strange reason, his muttered comments about free lap dances is
not heard by Giggles and her friends. Anyway, he got the drum. And
Ryan and Jason gleefully pounded on it as well.
It's Giggles' turn again. "You know what? I'm tired of singing!
Let's get Dean to sing himself a Happy Birthday song and make him
dance around the room!" That went over well.
"No," he says simply. "When you're my age, you don't have to do
things like that."
Without missing a beat, Giggles continues her programmed response.
(Let's see. Step 1: publicly embarrass the birthday-ee. If that is
accepted, go to Step 2: tell birthday-ee to sing his own song. If
that is accepted, cheer and end program. Else go to Step 3: have the
whole restaurant sing "Happy Birthday." Cheer and end program. Ok.)
They left the bass drum on the floor by mistake. Ryan was very
pleased.
Finally our ice cream arrives. Except they forget to bring the
sandwiches. And Barbara's sundae. She is not pleased at all. And
poor Sean was terrifically bored during the whole hour of waiting.
You do NOT want a wobbly toddler to be unhappy. Trust me. Fifteen
minutes later, the missing sundae and sandwiches arrive. And a plate
of chili fries. Apparently part of that was Sean's lunch. You should
have seen that kid eat! We were all impressed.
We finish lunch. We contemplate ordering our "dessert" - sandwiches
and things. For about 10 seconds. Let's just pay the bill and get
out of here! We wait about 10 minutes. No one comes by. Bob and
Joya finally leave. They're probably not coming back any time soon.
At least they didn't have to spend any money. It was our treat for
Ozzy's birthday. (And if the other Olives knew that part of the deal,
more probably would have shown up!)
A sweet 15 minutes later, we are finally out of the restaurant and
into the arcade. The arcade wasn't that crowded, in my opinion. We
decided Ryan would play mini-golf while Adam and Jason played a few
rounds of laser-tag. (Ryan was too small for their special vests.
Maybe another time.) One by one, the laser-tag vests start breaking:
when they opened that morning, they had a 16-person capacity. It was
down to 12 by the time A&J were going in for their first game. And
down to 10 by their third (last) game.
A laser-tag game is supposed to take 7 minutes. You suit up for 5,
get instructions for 5 and then go inside a dark area to shoot at
everyone in a total free-for-all. Hit a reflective spot on your
opponents' vests and earn points. But if the "base" machine in the
center of the place hits your vest, you drop to 0 points. Poor Jason
had 0 points for all his games. Adam finally kept some points on the
third game. While this is going on, everyone in line waits. And
waits. And waits. They could have at least brought in the next group
for their orientation during the game.
Meanwhile, it was almost 100 degrees outside. Ryan and I chose from
two mini-golf courses. There were some clever features; my favorite
was the putting green which was hidden in a "cave" beneath the giant
waterfall, complete with fake stalactites and stalagmites. (About 20
degrees cooler inside!)
It was far too hot to try the batting cages. We would have had to
ride with the boys (all three too "short" to go solo) on the Go-Karts.
And no one even asked to try the bumper boats, even though they were
on water. We didn't even bother trying the climbing wall. There were
four climbing harnesses but only one person working. And the line
kept getting longer...
An exhausting 3 hours later, we dragged ourselves out of the place,
dropped off Sean's toy which had been mistakenly left behind, and went
back to our own valley, which was a delightful 1-degree cooler than
Santa Clarita.
The place had great potential. Someone needs some decent management
skills.
At least our boys had a semi-decent time. And our bank account is now
empty.
--G.H.
Received on 2004-08-29 23:28:48
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